happy weekend, y'all!

I'm a town in Carolina, I'm a detour on a ride
For a phone call and a soda, I'm a blur from the driver's side
I'm the last gas for an hour if you're going twenty-five
I am Texaco and tobacco, I am dust you leave behind

I am peaches in September, and corn from a roadside stall
I'm the language of the natives, I'm a cadence and a drawl
I'm the pines behind the graveyard, and the cool beneath their shade, where the boys have left their beer cans
I am weeds between the graves.

My porches sag and lean with old black men and children
Their sleep is filled with dreams, I never can fulfill them
I am a town.

I am a church beside the highway where the ditches never drain
I'm a Baptist like my daddy, and Jesus knows my name
I am memory and stillness, I am lonely in old age; I am not your destination
I am clinging to my ways
I am a town.

I'm a town in Carolina, I am billboards in the fields
I'm an old truck up on cinder blocks, missing all my wheels
I am Pabst Blue Ribbon, American, and "Southern Serves the South"
I am tucked behind the Jaycees sign, on the rural route
I am a town
I am a town
I am a town
Southbound.

ready for vacay.

How am I supposed to get this massive amount of work done when all I can think of is this?

daily randoms.

1) Why don't they make dirty birthday cards for grandmothers? I think my grandmother would call me up and yell at me if I sent her one of those sappy ones with flowers and a poem. Instead, I usually have to stick to the classic dirty card with no mention of it being for my grandmother. I guess she really is a special one.

2) I'm so ready for it to be fall that I'm pretty much just skipping September in my head. I'm already making plans to go to the Haunted Forest up in Maryland and I'm prepping myself for weekends full of Billy Martin's pumpkin pancakes. I mean, September's a pretty worthless month anyway. Not really summer, not really fall. Booooring.

3) For those of you not living in this great nation's capital of ours, you may not know about the ridiculocity of our cab system. Instead of being a metered fare like every other city in the world, DC has to be "special" and charge according to zones. This means that even the most attuned DC resident usually has no idea how much their cab ride will cost, and it allows the DC cab drivers to charge whatever they want, and get away with it. Well kids, that ends today. I am going to single-handedly end the practice of cab drivers picking a price. With the help of this handy little calculator, I have figured out how much it will cost me to get from the boutique to the bar this evening. If the cab driver even attempts to overcharge me, he will certainly recieve a stern talking to, complete with maps and printouts. He won't know what hit him.

hi, mom!

Well, kids, we're in the presence of greatness. Bad Patsy has found my blog!

I guess I'll have to delete all those posts about my habitual drug use and salacious affairs with senators.... dang.

I kid, I kid, Madre! I'm glad you're reading :)

> sliced bread.

I just love discovering new things. Especially when they actually WORK. I'm one of "those people" who is more likely to try something new, just because it's new. I know, I know, as a communication major I should be able to resist advertising and the "newness" of a product, but I just can't help myself. However, with that said, when I find something that I love, I stick to it and never, ever waver. Like, ever.

For example, I decided back in early 2005 that I was going to start wearing blush. Most of the girls my age didn't wear it for fear of looking like an old lady, but I genuinely thought it would help cut the roundness of my face. On one fateful day in Sephora, I found my NARS Orgasm and have never looked back. I've worn it every single day of my life since. If they were to ever discontinue it (fools!) I honestly don't know what I would do. I know, this is a pretty major ode to some minerals crushed together in a beautiful peachy pink sheen, but I feel strongly about this product and how it makes me look. Yay, NARS!

All of this being said, I love to spread the news and joy of finding a new favorite product. I want to shout it from the rooftops. Not gonna lie: I sometimes hang out in the NARS section of Sephora and accost passers-by into trying on the blush. Those Sephora people should start giving me commission, because I swear I've turned at least 4 or 5 unknowing women into believers.

So, without further ado, I give you the first installment of my newest blog series: "better than sliced bread." These products are Kiki-tested, Kiki-approved.

The almighty Band-Aid Blister Block Stick.

This little deodorant-like stick will save your feet, I swear. You know those fabulous 4 inch stilettos sitting in your closet, that you've worn once but promised your poor feet that it would be the last time? Never again. Through many years of research, I have found that it takes a minimum of two full days of wear for a shoe to no longer give you blisters, but once broken in, those once-painful shoes could become one of your most comfortable pairs. This magic stick will get you through those first two wears, no problem. Just apply the stick liberally along your heels and anywhere else you expect the shoe to rub, and voila! You'll be blister free all day long. Just be sure to apply BEFORE the blisters begin to form. Otherwise, might I recommend these:

friday fabulousness.

Because on Friday, all I want to do is look at pretty things....

daily randoms.

1) Last night reminded me why I never drive anywhere anymore. Up until last night, I don't think that I had driven for over 2 weeks. I like it that way. I think it'll be another 2 weeks before I drive again. Wisconsin Avenue is a convenient place to live, but it really is a bitch of a street. The lights are never timed correctly, traffic is painful, and people tend to have no idea where they're going. Also, they seriously need to add a center lane that can be used as a left turn lane in both directions. Honestly. There was a big Yelp Elite event last night down on Capitol Hill, and I was, of course, running late. It took me a ridiculous hour and a half to get there (with a little detour in Bethesda, but still!). I mean, I could have had an additional 3 glasses of FREE wine in that time (and then definitely would not have been able to drive home, so I suppose things worked out in the end). From now on, I'm sticking with my public transportation: amorous bus driver and all.

2) I was out "sick" yesterday and it was incredible. Totally worth the stressful-ness of coming back this morning. Georgetown is a much more tolerable place on dreary non-weekend days: people in the stores actually help you! They're friendly, chatty, and it's a downright pleasant experience. I highly recommend it!

3) You may notice a new link list on the sidebar. It's a list of some of my most favorite online shopping venues. Obviously, I haven't included the "regulars" like Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Bluefly, ShopBop, Active Endeavors, etc. because I assume y'all already know about those and enjoy them (as you should!). Instead, these are some sites that I love that you may not know about. I'll try to update it often, and feel free to send me links of places you love!

4) By the way, the Elite party (and after party, planned by yours truly, of course) was a blast. I of course imbibed a bit too much, but how can you turn down free wine? Sonoma was awesome and if I ever had a reason to throw a party for 100-ish of my closest friends, I would definitely have it there. The event space is incredible, the food was delish, and the service was great. Sophisticated to the core.