Thursday, October 25, 2007

an ode to stupidity.

So today it's raining. It rained yesterday, too. To be honest I'm cool with it because it's starting to finally feel a bit like fall. The whole point of this little weather report is to validate the point of this point, which is that Crocs remove humans' ability to be classified as intelligent beings. You may think this is an outlandish statement and for that I will tell you that you are WRONG you Croc-lover.

This morning, as I'm waiting for the bus (ps. I HATE you this week, Metro. Come back to me soon.) I see a relatively cute guy who's dressed all outdoorsy: North Face coat, cords, backpack, etc. But his shoes. Oh dear Lord his shoes. Baby blue Crocs with woolen socks underneath. Now I ask you, dear readers, to please explain to me why on EARTH someone would look outside, see that it's raining, and decide that this was the perfect opportunity to don his shoes that have HOLES in them. Aren't his socks going to get all gross and wet? I'm aware he's wearing wool socks that wick moisture, but why would he even put himself in this position? It hurts my head to think about.

After staring (not inconspicuously) at his shoes for a good 10 minutes, I came to the realization that I just don't think I could be friends with someone who wears Crocs. It's not a "I can't be friends with non-fashionable people" thing at all. It's a difference in thinking, in brain function. I can't look at Croc-wearer and respect them as an intelligent human being. I just can't do it. I know we've all made our own fashion mistakes due to trends, but this is one that I'll just never understand. Rubber shoes with holes in them. At least the jellies that I lived in as a young girl were sparkly! The justification of them being comfortable or whatever is just shit. I don't believe it. I don't care if it feels like you're walking on clouds, mister: your shoes still have gaping holes in them.

Stupid quote of the day (courtesy of Bex):
"Many people die from cold-related deaths every winter. And there are studies that say that climate change in certain areas of the world would help those individuals" -- WH press sec. Dana Perino, staying positive ( Examiner).
*she's probably a Croc-wearer. Because creating ugly ass shoes out of fossil fuels is even MORE genius!


Katelin said...

I think you would get along with these people:

As would I actually, I am not a Croc fan. At all.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

So crocs are a deal breaker for you? Not saying they aren't ridiculous, but if I saw a really cute girl and the only strike against her was that she wore crocs, I would still date her.

Then after a night of passionate lovemaking when she passes out exhausted, I would throw her shoes out the window and sleep with a smile on my face, because now she is perfect.

Margo said...

Hmmm...I think you can take the guy out of the crocs, but can you take the love of crocs out of the guy? That might be harder. Unless you plan on throwing his shoes out the window every night. And then he might get pissed.

But I agree, I think crocs are okay for kids to wear, but not adults. Ever.

Kiki said...

Yep, ninja. Couldn't do it. Like Margo says, even if you threw the shoes away, you don't get rid of the fact that the man/woman actually spent money on those things.

And I still can't condone them for children. It's just starting the mania at a younger age. Plus there were all those articles about them getting sucked into escalators and poor innocent children getting de-footed. And I just can't have that.

vvk said...

I couldn't* wear Crocs... I could be your non-fashionable, non-croc wearing friend! :-P


* "couldn't" instead of "wouldn't" because they don't make them in my size. Poor me... I don't have the option to chose not to wear crocs.

Johanna said...

Congrats on your DC Blogs nod!

For me it's not so much the Crocs themselves that is the dealbreaker but all that Croc-wearing implies. I don't "do" super casual male who putzes around the city as if it were his backyard, you know?

Kim said...

Thank you! Crocs are awful. AWFUL!

And somehow, a man in crocs is 10x's worse.

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